Martyrs:

 

With the recent trend of American horror movie remakes, and laughable PG-13 ratings, I have turned to foreign films in the past few years in order to get my gore fix, or in the very least, not suffer through watching the films I enjoyed in my youth being raped beyond recognition by the onslaught of sub par directors littering Hollywood like so much garbage these days.

It was during this pilgrimage into the movie offerings of other countries that I ran across this gem.

Martyrs is the movie equivalent of a roller-coaster ride. It is a punch to the gut for everyone who’s sick to death of being spoon-fed tame, PG13 rated horror flicks that have been dumbed down in order to be more family friendly as a part of the ever rampant pussification of our society.

This movie is everything that a horror/thriller should be. It is a kick in the balls to every pathetic, watered-down, piece of shit, recycled puke that Hollywood has flung at us over these past 10 years, like a zoo full of retarded monkeys jerking off in their own feces because they’re too stupid to realize that nobody with a working brain could possibly enjoy such rancid tripe.

This film is beautifully fucking brutal, and it will blow your Godsdamn mind.

You want gore? It’s here. Violence? Sure thing. A plot line that’s not too tedious and yet delivers enough of a coherent story to disturb your peace of mind? This movie has it.

First off, this film is French-Canadian, and if you watch this, or any foreign film dubbed, and are not legally blind, then you are an idiot and should be dragged out behind a shed and shot. Your corpse doesn’t even deserve a proper burial, it should just be left in a ditch somewhere for carrion feeders and necrophiliacs to molest.

Now that I’ve addressed that, let’s get down to business.

This movie will screw with your head, and just when you think you have everything figured out, it completely flips the script on you and starts over from scratch. Sick of M. Night Shyamalan's twists? Of course you are, anyone with an IQ in the double digits was over that repetitive bullshit long before he jumped the shark with The Village, but don’t let the that pretentious monkey-fucker ruin your outlook on all movie twists in general, because this movie proves that they do still work if done right, and executed by a competent director.

What makes this movie so brilliant is the fact that the monsters in it are so subtle, and yet so terrifying in both their apathy towards their “victims” as well as their faith that what they are doing is not only acceptable, but imperative.

These are the privileged elite, targeting those who society will not miss, the orphaned, underprivileged, and forgotten citizens that would normally remain beneath their notice, but do not expect another underground social club full of pampered sadists, seeking death and torture to alleviate the boredom of their lives as shown in the Hostel films, as these monsters are far more merciless and methodical in both their approach as well as what they are ultimately seeking. Listening to their reasoning explained is akin to a watching a group of mad scientists at work. They are not doing this for some type of sick pleasure. They are not even ruining human life here, because these girls are not sentient beings to them, but tools which they will utilize to the fullest extent of their power in order to achieve their goals, and nothing will stop them, no matter how many of these “tools” they have to break in the process.

It’s dehumanization on a primal level, leaving nothing behind but mentally broken shells. The ones who do survive are driven to a lifetime of madness, as we witness through the eyes of Lucie, a young girl who escapes torture only to be haunted by an unseen but violently sadistic entity. She is played by the stunningly beautiful and talented Mylène Jampanoï, who is unspeakably breathtaking in this film, even through she spends a good part of her involvement in it coated with blood. She is joined in her crusade by her childhood friend and only confidant, Anna (Morjana Alaoui), who acts as a stabilizer for the enraged and maddened Lucie, who is determined to hunt down and eradicate those responsible for her childhood imprisonment and torture, and let’s just say that the bitch can kick some ass.

The bond between these two characters is nothing short of amazing. While Anna does not share her friend’s need for revenge, she does understand her on a level that few others could ever comprehend.

Now it has been suggested by more than one menstrual reviewer that this film is nothing more than “misogynistic torture porn” to which I say fuck you. Anyone who can dismiss this as being merely torture porn obviously needs to go back to watching My Little Pony reruns, because that’s apparently the only level their brains are capable of working on.

This film goes so much deeper than just the gore and violence that lies on the surface. If anything, the visual brutality is nothing more than a flimsy mask, covering an intent that‘s far uglier and more disconcerting than a little bit of physical abuse. As for it being “misogynistic” that’s just bullshit. The female characters in this film are the ones doing the most damage, and the original victim, Lucie, is responsible for some of the most violent and bloody scenes in the movie as she goes on the warpath with a shotgun. Even the real monsters of this film are mainly portrayed as women, and while they are not the only ones dealing out the torture against the girls in their possession, they are the ones pulling the strings.

Yes the film is violent, but it’s what’s beneath the violence that’s truly horrific. There is a reason behind their madness, and it’s so simplistic, and realistic, that it’s not hard to imagine something like this happening in real life, under the same circumstances.......that is what makes this film so bloody brilliant, the fact that the monsters in it are real, and closer to us in their fears, faith and mindset than the victims ever could be.

I highly recommend this movie to anyone who is looking for something to chase away the endless stream of lame that Hollywood has vomited out into our laps over these past few years. If you like kick-ass, beautiful and talented actresses, as well as hardcore brutality, then this film is for you.

If you have ever used the word “misogynistic” to describe a movie in your lifetime, then maybe you should just stick to Twilight films, or better yet, just wait until the American remake comes out, nicely packaged for the PG13 cinema-sheep, and starring Kristen Stewart.

And I really wish that was sarcasm, but they are actually planning a remake of this, and she has been contacted to star in it.

Way to go Hollywood, you can’t just satisfy yourself with raping horror films from the 70s and 80s, but you also have to jack the work of talented directors and producers from overseas and ride on the coattails of their success with your moronically sub par adaptation.

You fucked it up with [Rec.], and Let the Right One In, not to mention all of the Asian films you’ve dry-humped like a brain-dead poodle, and now you’re off to see what type of damage you can do with the French/French-Canadian films.

Fuck you Hollywood. I hope the entire lot of you are struck down by fire and brimstone like the days of Biblical lore and you're erased from this planet like the blight on humanity that you are.